If we deal with public sector bodies we often get ridiculous questionnaires to complete. They seem to be written by people of low educational attainment who are trying to fill in time. Today we have received a five page document from a Midlands' 'University' which they have asked us to complete. Its subject is 'diversity' and 'equality'.Remember, we didn't approach them to sell them something - they asked us to supply a product worth less than £100.
Here's a section from page 4 of the document. It would seem that the first ten lines are masquerading as a sentence, but if any of you can wrench meaning from it then let me know..
An OPB by the way is a One Person Business. Bit tricky on the diversity front there.
The truth is, I prefer homogeneity to diversity. I like people to share my views on hard work and loyalty and honesty. My staff wear uniforms. We only use English to communicate. We start work at the same time each day. I insist on the same level of good manners throughout the factory. I treat people equally. Give me homogeneity any day!
Oh - and although we fill in these questionnaires I'm pretty sure they are never read. One local council sent us a 12 page document on health and safety in my factory (as though it could possibly be anyone's business but my own) amongst which was a demand to see a copy of my 'broken glass policy' (sic). I replied that I ground it all up and put in the staff sandwiches at lunchtime. We still got the job.
Here's a section from page 4 of the document. It would seem that the first ten lines are masquerading as a sentence, but if any of you can wrench meaning from it then let me know..
| Do you observe, as far as is possible, the relevant authorities (such as the Equality and Human Rights Commission or its predecessors) Codes of Practice for Employment, or equivalent code of statutory guidance issued under equivalent legislation in another country, which gives practical guidance to employers and others on elimination of unlawful discrimination and the promotion of equality of opportunity in employment, including monitoring of workforce matters and steps that can be taken to encourage members of all parts of society to apply for jobs or take up training opportunities If yes, please supply evidence to support your answer. Evidence may be examples or copies of documents such as your equality, diversity or equal opportunities in employment policy, documents containing instructions to staff, or outlining arrangements for advertisements, recruitment, selection, access to training, opportunities for promotion, copies of recruitment advertisements, extracts from staff handbooks, or other materials that demonstrate your organisations commitment to equality. | YES / NO / OPB IF YES, PLS ATTACH DETAILS |
An OPB by the way is a One Person Business. Bit tricky on the diversity front there.
The truth is, I prefer homogeneity to diversity. I like people to share my views on hard work and loyalty and honesty. My staff wear uniforms. We only use English to communicate. We start work at the same time each day. I insist on the same level of good manners throughout the factory. I treat people equally. Give me homogeneity any day!
Oh - and although we fill in these questionnaires I'm pretty sure they are never read. One local council sent us a 12 page document on health and safety in my factory (as though it could possibly be anyone's business but my own) amongst which was a demand to see a copy of my 'broken glass policy' (sic). I replied that I ground it all up and put in the staff sandwiches at lunchtime. We still got the job.
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